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[+] choosing your best man and groomsmen
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Are You Ready for the Night of Your Life?
It may be your first time - or at least your first time as a husband. Regardless, you expect something different physically, emotionally . . . or just somehow different. Sex on your wedding night carries ambiguous expectations and high hopes for thoroughly familiar terrain. As you walk back to your hotel room at the end of the evening, you will feel a combination of exhilaration and exhaustion. Ultimately, only one of these competing sensations will win.
Forget the Hype
Much of the drama surrounding wedding night sex is lore, handed down by generations (claiming to, or successfully) abstaining until matrimony. The majority of brides and grooms these days have engaged in some form of pre-marital sex, but wedding night performance applies if you and your bride are virgins, or decidedly not.
While you're likely not navigating the female form for the first time, be ready for a different set of jitters. You may find yourself struggling to perform, or even forcing yourself to get in the mood. Don't worry; the beautiful lady on the other side of the veil will be thinking the same thing.
The best day of your life will not be the easiest. After having trouble sleeping the night before, you will fight boredom until it is time to dress, having watched weekend rerun movies until you slam the remote and pace in frustration. Your day starts in late afternoon or early evening with the ceremony and may last well into the next morning. Sometime after midnight, you and your wife are in an emotional maelstrom, tired and alone at last.
If you catch a second wind, go with the urge. Many, though, will struggle with the decision. Wedding night sex shifts form the discovery of parts unknown to tacit obligation. What do you do? article continues...
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What?
Wed, Nov.19th 2008
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In response to "areyouallkidding?!", I don't know what you're trying to prove by posting this gemstone on the message board: "Wow. I plan on having sex with my new husband in the bridal room during the reception, and multiple times the back in the wedding suite. I feel bad for all you and your way boring sex lives."
If you are so awesome, then why did you click on a story entitled "wedding night performance for grooms" and why do need to announce to the world your sexual prowess rather than just quietly doing it like those of us who do it all the time. (For whom it isn't a hang-up.)
areyouallkidding?!
Wed, Oct.29th 2008
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Wow. I plan on having sex with my new husband in the bridal room during the reception, and multiple times the back in the wedding suite.
I feel bad for all you and your way boring sex lives.
Fulfilled
Sat, Oct.11th 2008
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I, and my ex-wife, were virgins when we got married at age 20. I was looking forward to sharing a beautiful experience with a woman I loved, but on our wedding night, she told me that she wasnt ready to have sex. We were married for two years before separating, and I was still a virgin when our marriage was dissolved a year after that. I think it is very noble and admirable that some people choose to wait to consummate their relationship until their wedding day, but whether you abstain or not, both partners have to be open, honest, and willing to talk about their sexual needs and desires before and after they get married, or you may find yourself in the same boat that I did. I'm getting married again next September, needless to say, I learned my lesson :)
Wedding Planner
Thu, Sep.25th 2008
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While I am personally waiting for marriage, that doesn't mean that I am automatically judging someone who hasn't. I'm helping my friend plan her wedding so I am not speaking as a bride to be. I haven't found my future husband but that doesn't mean that I have unrealistic expectations either. While I hope that he's waited too, that doesn't mean that I would reject him if he hasn't waited. Likewise, I would trust that he respects me enough to not look down upon me for my inexperience and wanting to be able to share something special with him.
While some of you like to think that you're liberated and very postmodern, is it truly liberating to judge the choices that others have made throughout their lives? That goes for both sides. When you get married, it's about starting anew with the person you plan to spend your life with. Let's remember that and stop mocking each other for our choices.
bridezilla
Sun, Aug.31st 2008
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While perusing the comments here then looking at your stated ages, the content and tone of the comments and the numerous spelling and grammatical errors contained therein, nine tenths of you are too young and too stupid to get married in the first place. I'm going to be married next year and have seen both sides of this argument...I was one of those hardcore wait till marriage types and almost married the wrong guy. Luckily I snapped out of it. I've also been a stripper, which is what occasioned my meeting my groom to be in the first place. The point is that snap decisions about other people, seeing things in black and white and believing that your way is the only way to think are immature and more importantly will be counter productive if you're serious about having a healthy lifelong marriage with someone.
J
Mon, Aug.25th 2008
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It's all a matter of personal values. Some are religious, some aren't (and some religions don't prescribe that you wait until marriage to have sex, for that matter). Either way, it'll (or should be) more special with the person you've decided to spend the rest of your life with. If you've opted to wait for the one, good for you. If not, just the same. I am not a virgin and in my case I think having experience with other partners has given me the experience to be a better lover. I don't think that's the ONLY avenue however, and come back to the point of "to each their own." We live in a society that values independent choice, however we're all guilty of leaning toward the thinking that "my choice is better than yours."
nobigdeal
Sat, Aug.23rd 2008
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Living with her two years before the official marriage, so I'm in effect married and not a bit nervous about the wedding at all. We'll be too tired for sex though after reception and PREFER SLEEP, but the honeymoon will be great. very relieved some "so-called religion or so-called church" is not guiding my ceremony with "phony-bologna" of abstaining and "sex on first night" stuff
David
Fri, Aug.22nd 2008
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This is to all of those people like Seth who believe that people who wait for sex are losers. Its people like Seth who make comments like that who are the real losers and they will regret there beliefs later on in life. Abstaining yourself from sex is best gift you could ever give your wife. My fiancee and I are both virgins, and I am so glad that i am not bringing any baggage like previous sex into the relationship. Its about discipline and holding true to core beliefs, and not going around like some animal and screwing every girl you date. To those that have had premarital sex and wish they didn't, i say that there is always forgiveness and a new leaf to turn over.
Plus that poser who says that you might marry someone who sucks at sex, its about practice and practice makes perfect. And guess what you can relish in the fact that you and your new bride know eachother like no one else. Sex is an emotional, physical, and spiritual covenant between husband and wife.
Seth
Fri, Jul.18th 2008
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I'm just turning 18 years old in a few months how do I not end up like these loser that wait to get married, the idea seems ludicrous you are about to spend the next five years married to some one that might be horrible at sex your nuts
Phillip
Wed, Jun.18th 2008
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i thought the article was great, had alot of good tips and advice in it. for everyone else who is just trying to flaunt their opinions, try to keep in mind that its for the general public, the majority, hence the "masses". what may seem the majority to you will not be the majority to someone else because it depends on who you surround yourself with. try to keep an open mind about things, and if it does not appeal to you, skip over it, don't condemn it. neither me or my future wife are virgins, but we were when we first met, so we got to explore each other for the first time. i understand what it is you are talking about when you sugest saving yourself until marriage. it IS more special with the one that you love, but for those of you who don't want to wait, you don't have to. the essence behind "saving yourself" is to share a new part of yourself with someone that you love. waiting until that one night is just an old tradition, one that has grown until it has created this stigma about it that groomgroove has addressed. thanks groomgroove, actually without your help, i'd be lost during this whole thing.
aaron
Wed, May.21st 2008
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I'm 21, getting married in 4 months and neither myself or my bride-to-be has ever had sex. We are so excited to experience sex for the first time with each other, we can hardly stand it. Yes, we were raised that his was the best way, and I couldn't be happier. Why have meaningless sex when you can have it with the love of your life! God designed sex for marriage, and that's where it's most fulfilling!
Walt in Little Rock
Sun, May.4th 2008
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I'm 43 Years old and am in no way, uh umm, a 40 yr. old virgin. and have been married once before as has been my future wife. We chose on Nov. 7th, 2007, (the day we became engaged) to hold off on sex and have 6 months of pre-marriage counciling. We decided to do this because we both had marriages before that were based on sex and obviously those NEVER work, so we wanted to base this marriage on our Love for one another because we knew that we would have the rest of our lives to have all the sex we wanted with a strong foundation beneath us. So I say to Michael you are either very young and lost and probably living at home with Momma or will never be in ANY type of meaningful relationship that you have to attack others for their desire to do the right thing, not to mention keeping the sanctity of marriage intact. So to ALL of you younger people who wish to hold off until marriage, NEVER pay attention to people like MICHAEL ^ above. You are NOT a dork just because your doing the correct thing for the sake of your marriage. Good for all of you!!!!!
Al
Wed, Mar.19th 2008
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I am not a virgin but I agree with the comments Jerrod, bride to be and others posted. I believe this article could have taken a different approach to include and help those that will be making love to there bride to be for the first time. More power to the guys that waited until marriage because they will be able to give there future wives something the rest of us can't.... give themselves entirely to whom they love, I wish I could have given this gift to my future wife to be.
Trevor
Sun, Feb.24th 2008
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I am getting married in July and both my bride-to-be and I are virgins. Way to go Jerrod for waiting! I agree with him in that I found some information on here that was helpful but the way the beginning of this article was worded was poor taste. For those you who think that being a virgin means you are a dork or a religious freak I would say this; Those of us men who have chosen to abstain until we find the one special girl to share that moment with can give our brides something that many other men can't and I for one am proud of that. I don't judge others who have chosen differently, but I'm tired of the stereotype that virgins are dorks, wussies, or uptight prudes.
Michael
Thu, Jan.31st 2008
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Saving yourself for marriage Jarrod? You must
be a super dork or a religious freak. Gimme a
break?! it's 2008. Get with it dude !
Nickolas
Fri, Jan.18th 2008
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I have to agree with Jerrod and the Future Bride. I believe this would be a more profitable article if it were written with the good guys in mind as well... The virgins who save themselves for marriage and don't get wasted away with alcohol and cheap sex.
The "masses" aren't what you think they are.
Matt
Thu, Jan.10th 2008
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After reading the article, I think the ideas presented are good for any couple.
Future Bride
Sat, Jan.5th 2008
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I have been reading up on a few sites for my future husband who really wants to help, but doesn't know where to start. This site is MUCH better than the site I recently read about how not to come home "in the dog house" after spending the evening with erotic dancers and prostitues. This site gives good advice on some things, but I agree with Jerrod. My groom and I are also virgins and are anxiously waiting our wedding night together. There are more "V" card holders in the world than you think... and even those who aren't virgins may have a different idea of their wedding night than these so called "masses"
Dave
Fri, Jan.4th 2008
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Jerrod you're a jackass.
GroomGroove.com
Sun, Dec.30th 2007
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It's hard to please everyone. Thanks for the comment.
Jerrod
Sat, Dec.29th 2007
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I've been eagerly but patiently wading through these articles, eating the meet and spitting out the many bones, and this is the last article I will read on this website. After "Chastity has never been the choice of GroomGroove.com" and "I'm writing for the masses," as well as several remarks about drunken bachelor parties, it's obvious that this website doesn't really have the "masses" in mind, but maintains a pretty narrow spectrum in their target audience, forgetting the large and signicantly growing population of young men who are intentionally saving themselves for marriage, and who don't equate a "party" with a combination of alcohol and exotic dancers.
Thanks for the effort, though.
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