People... everyone is different... if true love is there... u think some minor things will stop u? NO it wont... love makes people blind... try again.. start afresh... If anything Email: crazy_guardian_angel@hotmail.com

I've been engaged this march, and I remembered 2 days b4 the engagement we had a huge fight regards to the preparation and he started shouting and throwing things ard, I cried thru-out the night and we have another fight the next day b4 the ceremony he kept screaming n banging the steering wheel while in the car and I walked out of the car and walked home..tearing. My friends told me to hold but I still went on with the ceremony cos too much had been done and my parents flew all the way fm overseas to attend. He promised he will control his temperament and be more understanding. Done with the ceremony everything went great, we went on a short trip and were having fun. Days, weeks , mths went by, his temperament become worse, he like calling me names, started cursing me, hitting me(but not serious). When he is in good mood, he's very loving, we do things and go places together. I always follow his suggestions and when I have mine, most of the time he gave negative remarks. We planned to have our customary marriage next November. M excited I want to have the a memorable wedding cos is once in a lifetime, I've be doing research, but when I told him abt my plan, he just being un-supportive and told me he dosent want to spend extra $ cos no1 will remember after that. All I ask for is an extra 1K out of our shared account, is that too much ? I cant take it anymore, I really cannot picture myself with this guy for the rest of my life. I told him off today, and ended it. He told me not to regret. What have I done wrong to deserve this? :(

Your CommentsHere's my situation: I've been seeing a wonderful man for almost exactly 3 years now! I have never met anyone that I get along with better, have so much in common with and who I feel is nearly perfect for me! We have both been married before (his divorce about 4 1/2 years ago, mine 8 years ago). This last New Years Eve, we got engaged. It wasn't exactly the most romantic proposal but he proposed and it's now been a little over 8 months since then. We had talked of getting engaged months before and picked out a ring together. He was a little hesitant during that process but he finally did it! When he proposed, he had stalled for atleast a few months before asking. I slightly hinted around and although it was a bit rushed, he proposed right before we left to go to a concert. Okay. After that, within a couple of months, I gently started bringing up the whole wedding planning topic. I researched everything! I would tell him as I did this but he didn't seem to interested! When I found a few locations to check out, he would be reluctant more than half the time, citing that "it was his day off. He wanted to do something else", comment. After viewing about 10 locations over the months, he finally somewhat agreed to a venue and after we visited it, he soon put down the deposit. This was in early May of this year. I had proposed the end of October as the wedding date and it was locked in! I thought things were finally moving along! Well, a week after we put down the deposit and I secured a caterer, he came over and told me that "we have to talk". He explained briefly that because he had just recently (a month before) been given a job promotion and was taking on more stressfull issues, he thought that the wedding date was too soon. He would not give me an alternate date estimate. We fought a little over this and I actually wouldn't see him for 4 days. When we finally spoke again, I asked him just WHEN he would be willing to plan a date. He wouldn't be specific so I suggested we wait 3 months. After the 3 months, we would resume our planning of the wedding and pick a date...perhaps next year in Spring. He agreed and even said "As long as you don't bug me during that time". I patiently waited the 3 months and brought up the topic again this Sept 2nd. We were driving to the store and I mentioned that it had been 3 months and could we discuss a new wedding date. He actually said that he didn't remember setting any kind of date to discuss a new plan. I couldn't believe it! I got so angry when we returned back to my place that I slammed the door exclaiming "Why did you ever give me a ring anyways?" Well that was last Tuesday nigh. It is now Saturday night and I haven't heard one word from him! The last time that had happened, 3 months ago, I had made the first move and called him after 4 days. My pride tells me that I will not contact him first this time. It also tells me that he is the one being cruel, not me. So, that basically sums it up. I Love this man and I'm so surprised at his actions! I don't want to threaten or give ultimatums but I have absolutely NO idea what to do! I'm not sure when I will hear from him as I plan on not making the first move. When we do speak, what can I say or do to fix this situation? Do you think this is a lost cause and that I should just bail? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me!! I haven't been able to eat much in days and I'm crying all the time!

1 Week from the wedding and I dont want to because he is so verbally abusive. Punching walls is not helping either when he gets mad. We love eachother dearly but he has these evil sides. I know breaking the wedding off is the right thing to do.

he asked me twice.. i said yes twice.. but he's always throwing money and work in my face.. i work alot to make money to afford the things he wants or wants to do. hes very protective and controling, everyone says he has cheaters guilt bc he's done it so many times in the 9 years we've been together. we just built our dream home and plan to get married in april, but all he does is pick on me, tell me he's "done" for me to leave and leave the ring behind... part of me wants to leave, but the other part wants to stay.. he goes through these moments where he doesnt want me around.. and a few days later he loves me again... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE... stick it out and hope he grows the hell up or leave.. and never look back????? HELP!!!! Mandola4800@yahoo.com

You can tell which posts are from women. If a man is pressured this is what happens ladies pay attention.

Why let yourself get into this mess? If you are really thinking clearly, you don't pop the question and pull out later. just my 2 cents

Ziggy81 - I bet it happens with people who get engaged after a short period of dating time. Plus - in terms of the ring, you get to have it back. I think there's an article on this site about that. I think it's a marriage law question!