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dealing with bridezilla

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dealing with bridezilla [Page 1 of 3]

Picture the great green fictional monster, Godzilla. Now picture your fiancée’s gorgeous, glowing face on Godzilla's body (known as ‘Bridezilla’), crashing through the streets, the house, the office, leaving a trail of shredded wedding invitation samples and astronomical cell phone bills in her wake. Bridezilla is born, Bridezilla has risen, Bridezilla is real and you must act to rescue her from her own devastating wrath. How can she be stopped? How can a groom avoid getting trampled under her thunderous footfall?

GroomGroove.com has the answers for you. (It’s going to be okay.)

How Do You Know She's...Transformed?
Trust us on this one...you'll know! Your usually composed, even-tempered partner will become suddenly obsessed with the wedding plans, focusing day and night on little else. She will, at times, become irritable, accusatory, dismissive, irrational, and demanding. It's not PMS -- and in fact, never speak those three letters aloud-- it's the biggest day of her life, and dammit, it's going to go off without a hitch. The groom has got to cut his bride some slack.

How can a groom cope?
1. Prevention is key. Before you dive into the planning stage of your wedding, chat with your bride-to-be about how you plan to tackle it. And by you, that means both of you. Have a good talk about what each of you will be responsible for, and an exchange of vows (so to speak) not to let the enormity of the task ahead get the best of you and cast a storm cloud over one of the greatest events of your lives. If she doesn’t bring this up, be proactive. Establishing a plan of action will benefit you if things get out of hand later. You can simply refer to your “initial agreement” to get you back on track.

2. Grooms aren't guilty unless…they are. If you are upholding your end of the bargain, you have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for. Even so, this may not prevent your future wife from becoming Bridezilla. If she succumbs, remind her that you’re doing all you can and that if she is taking on tasks above and beyond what was agreed upon, that is her own choosing. However, if you’re skipping out on things you agreed to help with to have a drink with friends or catch the game on TV, sorry brother but...you're guilty as charged. In this case, your Bridezilla is justified in being a monster. Rectify the situation as quickly as you can. Be extra, extra nice.

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Bride-a-rella
Mon, Dec.22nd 2008
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Ladies... listen up. It's just a party. Tell yourself this. It is just a party, it is just a party, it is just a party. The most important thing about this party is that you and your groom will soon share a last name, and a life together. Sure, you want your day to be fabulously perfect, but know that you don't have to lose your inner-beauty to get there. You have your whole life to nag, harass, and give ultimatums to your loving husband. Don't blow it all in one day. Please remember that men are not women. All they want is to marry you, maybe have some babies, and share their lives with you. Pass that on to your mom and tell her to take a ride in the back seat, because it's YOUR day.
Sun, Nov.16th 2008
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To John...a little word of advice, dont marry this chick if she's telling you that you need to find th moeny for this...its just a big party. I'm sure I'm going to get alot of flack for this, but in the end, the relationship matters more. If you and she can't have a conversation about the finances of planning a party, you never will be able to have a life together!
Future Bridezilla
Thu, Sep.25th 2008
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At this point everyone in my family knows my personality and how I feel about my wedding day when it comes. My sister and I joke regularly that right now I'm a Bridezilla in training so we've set a plan in motion already (and I'm not even engaged yet.) Weddings are about two people joining together in marriage. I won't lie and say that the wedding doesn't matter but it does. I've decided that the key to avoid becoming Bridezilla is surrounding myself with people to remind me that the wedding is about my fiance, not just about me. That way, every choice has to be agreed on by both of us. I think it is really wrong for brides to push their fiance out of the planning process entirely and it's wrong for grooms to not care at all. Granted guys you may not care if the tablecloths are white, off-white, brite white, soft white, winter white, ecru, ivory, or eggshell ... but there are other things that you can do. Help pick out the tuxes that you guys will where, help pick the colors, or have a family member read a Bible verse. Trust me, even if you don't help her agonize over every single little detail, any bride worth her salt just wants to know that you care about the special day as much as she does. I think Bridezillas happen when they feel they have to do everything all on their own or it won't get done.
Bridezilla
Mon, Aug.4th 2008
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Thanks for the description of a bridezilla. I officially self-diagnosed myself after reading this. I feel terrible for treating my fiance the way I have this past few months of wedding planning. At least I have 3 more months to redeem myself.
Wife speaking
Thu, Jul.31st 2008
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I was convinced I wasn't being a bridezilla. Now three years later, and several friend's wedding later, I'm fully aware that I was in a trance when planning my wedding. I was so focused on "PERFECT" that I couldn't even manage to understand that it was OKAY if we ended up in someone's backyard drinking out of a keg. All the details just don't matter... Long story short, I'm back to myself and realize how weird I was being. Trust me guys, your fiance's & wives will relax during the honeymoon and all will be right again!
john
Fri, May.30th 2008
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You can never know what its like to deal with bridezilla till you are the groom. I have become one of the many groom to be that has fallen over this.She is so obsessed with the wedding that she initally gave aa amazing bill to me which was totally unpayable.She then cut a few things and still its exremely high and refuses to work on a reasonable bill and now has declared "its all about the bride and i must find the money somehow". Like many who have encountered this i am thinking of calling it quits because i have a strange feeling this will continue after the wedding!
Sebastian
Tue, Apr.29th 2008
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I can't really cope with bridezilla much anymore. I went back on my anti-anxiety pills and asked my doctor to put me on Xanax or an equivalent option (I pick those up today, YAY!). She has gotten really mean and doesn't really talk or listen anymore. I am starting to get scared. I meanwhile have lost an additional 15 lbs and I am happy in that respect! I get compliements! Oh well, I might just start drinking. I hope she goes back to a kind and loving girl again after the wedding if not then I will be in for a VERY Unhappy life.
Wed, Apr.23rd 2008
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Bridzilla is determinded to make all the details of the wedding unbearable, but I will perserver!
True, sadly..
Wed, Apr.16th 2008
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Every woman has had this happen at some point or other ( wheather they will admit to it is another thing entirely..). Thank god for my fiance, who's probably used at least 3 of these tactics to keep my feet on the ground. Trust me, they work. And yes, she'll go back to normal once it's all done.
Mon, Feb.4th 2008
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The thing that really gets a bride going is feeling like she's the only one who cares about the little details. A gentle reminder that all you really need to get married is a ring and a minister and that the rest is just extra should calm her down. And really, if she can't be talked off a parry favor ledge, think long and hard about marrying her...clearly her priorities are screwed up if she's focused on ribbon and bows and not the union. It's about the marriage NOT the wedding!1
So true!
Mon, Jan.28th 2008
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Wow! I thought I was the only one who ever experienced this! Gotta keep the eye on the prize and remember why we asked them to marry us in the first place. Sometimes taking a break from the wedding and each other for a week can help.
Yikes
Sat, Jan.26th 2008
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Yeah, Bridezilla is no joke. It's tough to deal with and makes you wonder why you're marrying the person... but I'm hoping that normalcy returns after the big day... Am I right to hope? Anyone?
it is very real
Thu, Jun.7th 2007
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And Bridezilla is one thing but dealing with her mother is another.
YoursTruly
Tue, Mar.13th 2007
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Another way to deal with Bridezilla is to NOT MARRY HER. Just kidding...great article though.

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