![]() ![]() the web's best roadmap for a groom's trip down the aisle |
||
|
|
getting over wedding jitters[Page 1 of 3]
Got cold feet? Congrats! You can consider yourself 'normal'. Nearly every groom gets wedding jitters at some point during their engagement (and often close to wedding day). It's a perfectly acceptable reaction to the creeping realization that you're making a huge, lifelong commitment to the institution of marriage and to another person. Here's some advice for grooms to help quell a (hopefully) minor case of cold feet. Gulp Last-minute emotional rushes can be overwhelming for even the most steadfast of grooms. Don't be surprised by a sudden feeling that you're headed downriver without a paddle, and with a waterfall at the end. The good news is that you are in good company. Grooms are likely to ponder - in even the best of circumstances - whether they are making the right choice, particularly with the divorce rate being so high. Jitters, of course, vary in degree. While men have long been accused of lacking emotional sensitivity, there's no doubt that we have emotions, and nerves are one of them. If it isn't apparent from your tone, your sweat glands may even do the talking for you. Rational thoughtsBut for every bout of nervousness, men are also often counted on for strength and rationality. Whether or not you are the strong and cool-headed type, allow a dose of rational thoughts enter into your mind. The key is to figure out exactly why you're a bit nervous. Don't avoid deep reflection. Long ago you decided to marry your girlfriend, whether you thought she was "The One" or the "woman of your dreams", or just the most compatible person for you. If you had felt that this was an arrangement destined for failure, you would have known long before making the marriage proposal. So what is getting your goat? If it's a concern about compatibility, you've got to remind yourself that no one is perfect, and focus on the positive, not the negative. Focus on the honeymoon, great times ahead, a free set of knives, retirement and the little children your marriage will produce (!). Think of all the positive reasons to marry your fiancée, rather than focusing on flaws in your relationship, yourself or your fiancée. It's also a good idea to remind yourself that the flaws in your relationship are likely much less minor than the next persons'!
article continues... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shelby
WOW! I am going through some crazy stuff with my new (2 months) fiancee already and I am truly concerned. I get the feeling I'm planning something that might never happen. He has a new excuse everyday as to why we should wait, or why we aren't ready to get married. Some of his reasons are valid, but at times it just sounds like excuses. (This man wants me to take a lie detector test to prove I've never been unfaithful. Meanwhile I've caught him communication with other women on several occasions.)
Why did he propose to me if he wasn't sure. Part of me wishes I had the strenght to just walk away now, before I end up a bride who gets left at the alter. I don't know! He has been a commitment-phobe during our entire relationship and I hung in there because I love him. I am going to try to get him to read this article although I'm not sure it will help.
Your Comments
I am 59 engaged to man 62 and we decided to marry 2 months after meeting, spent evey day together. Three days before our wedding ws to take place - a small wedding in my son's home, I came over and walked into the room with family members there and him saying he was not going through with it. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the hospital. I was so stunned that he would not call, or tell me in a setting that would be easier and more respectful to me. He had been given a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis two weeks before and I didn't break it off. I gave in to his wanting us to live in the house he and his deceased wife lived in, even helped him 'stage' the house for sale - he said it is to big for him alone and for us as a couple, and I helped him set his doctor appointments and MRIs. He had to have a foot surgery (minor) because he had neglected his health and feet and teeth. I thought I was doing what he wanted. He is losing his ability to walk, etc. But, I am a mature adult and was not interested in anything but him ... he has money and paid for house ... a prenuptial and separate accounts are fine with me.
His sons got worried that if the house sold, and he purchased new home (near them and something they had tried to get him to do) and he was married to me and he died they would not inherit.
Sunday before the Wednesday he broke it off, he made a strange comment "I am bringing a lot into the marriage and you are not ... I have guitars that are worth thousands of dollars."
I started to break it off then with him ... I don't care about the money.... I am college degreed (he is not) and certified legal mediator, speech therapist, educator, tech writer ....
I am currently on disability after an accident and private disability will be almost $3000. He has a pension and soc sec disability - total $5000.
His kids kept saying it is too quick. He set the date. We were becoming very emotinal invested and he proposed.
His wife died a year ago ... I was hesitant at first to get involved, thinking he was not ready; but, he said he was ready.
I don't know what to think - it has been two weeks. I asked him not to call me and now I just want to go over there and ask "what happened?" but, I have not because of the embarrssment factor.
For the first day or so, his family was camped out at his house.
I don't know how long he can live alone because of his diagnosis. His daughter-in-law said he had 'cold feet' - the one who was not there that day when I walked in. She said he is refusing to take the meds.
Jessica
Your Comments I was engaged and now he has postponed everything. He took the ring back and I don't know what to do. I think everything hit him when we were going to meet with a architect. Why didn't he bring any of this up before? Am I suppose to wait for him to figure out what he really wants or just move on?
Mark
Sarah,
Your husband doesn't love you. Don't bother with this advice, it won't help you in the end. If he is nervous and pulling back, he's not in love with you, and doesn't want to go through with it. Just accept it and move on. Honest advice from a guy who is going through the same thing.
Sarah
This article is great, now how can I suggest that my fiance read it without offending him??? We are supposed to be married in 4 days and he's suddenly flipped out on me!
Post Your Comments: |
|
|
| ||
|
HOME
| CONTACT US
| ADVERTISE WITH US
| PARTNER LINKS
| LEGAL STUFF
| SITE MAP
| GROOMS BLOG
| BEST MAN SPEECHES
| FUNNY BEST MAN SPEECH
| BEST MAN DUTIES
| MARRIAGE PROPOSALS Copyright © 2005-2009 Groove Media LLC. All rights reserved. |
||
Rating: